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Thursday, January 5th, 2006
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k i deleted everyone off my friends so no one could comment on my last post or this one *stupid*.. BUT, check your info shits and see if ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) teenagebadgirl added you cus if they did its me and you love me, k. now bye for real.
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(2 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
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Thursday, August 7th, 2003
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| Time: | 11:07 am. |
| Music: | "journey to the center of a girl"/ the cramps. |
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yeah. im up way too early. its my moms fault.
after my dad left for work she started crying way hard. of course that woke me up, you know. she was crying cus my grandma is sick. so i went and tried to, i dont know, comfort her or whatever, you know. which i shouldnt have done in the first place. because im shitty when it comes to people and comforting them when theyre upset, because i dont know what to say at all. but you know, i tried, i went there with my little pink kleenexes and shit. and she just made me feel like the biggest idiot in the world. she like turned her head so she wouldnt have to see me and kept telling me to go away and she made herself cry silently so id think she wasnt crying. so finally i was like fuck it and i went back to bed, but then she started crying loud again. plus i have curlers in my damn hair so it was hard to sleep in the first place.
but anyway, i finally go back to sleep, when... what do i hear? her. talking on the PHONE. REALLY LOUD. with my COUSIN. yeah. i had to go away, she couldnt talk to me, but she can talk to my damn cousin. okay. really cool. awesome. i love that.
whatever.
ps: new journal later today/tonite. i wont use this one anymore. if i dont add you, its cus i dont read your journal, or you dont read mine. no hard feelings, guys, but.. if we dont read eachothers journals we're not really that great of friends, huh?
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(21 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
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i had a dream where it was my birthday and i had a big chocolate cake and i wanted to take pictures of it on top of my mom's car but everytime i went outside it started raining really hard so i had to run back in with the cake. and my dad was mad at me so he wouldnt take a picture for me but then he just ate the whole cake himself.
then i was looking out of the window (heres where it really gets weird) when i saw keith richards riding in a golf cart towards my house when suddenly it flipped over and disappeared. so i was going over to my neighbors house to ask what happened since the golf cart came from near his house w hen i realized that his house had been totally remodeled into an office and they wwere producing a magazine about cool rock n roll music. he didnt want to let me come in the house so i had to prove that i listened to cool music by naming artists and great songs by them, then he let me in and showed me around the magazine headquarters and told me that i could get a job there if i really wanted and it would pay $12.50 an hour and all i had to do was answer phones and type up articles. (in real life my neighbor is a redneck guy who listens to 80s metal and new country and rides a motorcycle and hes like 940835 lbs.) so i was gonna apply and i took the application home cus i needed a parents signature to work there even though i am 18, but my parents were like NO this is not the type of job you want, you need a higher up job, and i was like but this is the WAAAY to a higher job, come onnnnn $12.50 an HOURRRRR but they kept saying no and i started crying and thats all i remember.
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(3 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
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its only a little past 12:30 and i feel like im gonna fall over. its cus i was on a road trip all day to my grandmas house.
im getting sad cus summer's almost gone. seriously. im getting all nostalgic for times that werent so long ago, like one month ago and stuff. im really really tired and bored but i dont wanna sleep. oh yeah and ps, im getting a new journal like thursday or something. ill add most of you guys on it. but not all of you. some of you guys are fuckin WACKJOBS, y'all can GONE HEAD WIT DAT. if i dont add you its not cus i hate you, just cus i dont really feel like close enough pals to add you, mmk.
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(59 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
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Saturday, August 2nd, 2003
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so i start college in about 24 days. but orientation and shit is in less than that.
im SCURRED.
i know i shouldnt be, but shit. i am. i still gotta buy some kind of bag to take my shit in. and um. finish reading a book and write a paper. and. uh. CLEAN THE SHIT OUT OF MY PANTS BEFORE I GET THERE.
the classes i will be taking are: English, Math ( its called "Mathematical IDEAS", maybe we'll just talk about like, ideas people came up with and how they used math to make their idea turn into REALITY), Environmental Science, "CORE" (i'm going to liberal arts college, and the "core" class is this one class we have to take that mixes all the subjects in one), Modern Dance and Spanish. seee, im gonna do fine. i hope.
shit.
sometimes growing up sucks like a slut sucks a cock.
REAL HARD.
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(31 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
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Thursday, July 31st, 2003
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k guys, new rules for randomly coming to my journal and insulting me even when what i say in it has nothing to do with you:
i KNOW its a real challenge, because youve got to be stupid to want to insult ME in the first place; but from now on, lets try to find something with some substance to insult me on, okay? like something about my personality or something i actually did or said, or something? no more of this "mexican"/"gook"/"negro" stuff. like, im ready for you guys to REALLY DIG DEEP. mmk, thanks bye.
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(9 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
| Time: | 3:04 am. |
| Music: | "it thing hard-on"/the cramps. |
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for the most part today [yesterday? uhh. im talking about wednesday.] was just stupid. the good parts were when me and my boyy talked about love things and got all super-nostalgic about when we first met/last summer and we were all about oi music.
also there were analogies that compared our relationship to a shitty nine inch nails song and my personality to not having a dick in a world where everyone else does.
on another note, i heard the phrase "devil's music" be used seriously for the first time seriously in true life conversation.
you don't even wanna know.
oh yea and me and my mom saw a homeless insane native american guy near our house get arrested today because he was totally "WILDIN OUT" on some guy in a pickup. my mom was all insulted that he was homeless and insane and weird because he was native american and "ACTIN THE FOOL" but you know, thats just how it sometimes it is. i was all cheering him on like "viva mi raza!!" but not really. that guy creeped me out, hes always screaming and crying.. NEAR MY HOUSE.
and on tuesday i got a shipment of birth control in the mail from the company, and they sent it in a freezer box. but I WAS CONVINCED THAT IT WAS A SEVERED HEAD because thats WHAT IT ALWAYS IS WHEN THEY SEND A FREEZER BOX TO YOUR HOUSE IN THE MOVIES. and i totally freaked out and imagined the eyes staring at me and all the gross neck pipes sticking out and the purple circles around the dead eyes and the blue lips and stuff. and i freaked out my boyfriend and he was saying maybe its a heart in there and then he called the number on it and an automated message said "hello, you have reached MEDCO HEALTH" and i realized what it was and i laughed for like a year.
but seriously. you people and your reality tee vee shows. come on. where i'm from, we're into the real kinda trash.
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(5 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
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Kamilah is the #3558 most common female name. 0.001% of females in the US are named Kamilah. Around 1275 US females are named Kamilah! source namestatistics.com
0.001%.. thats awesome.
i totally wanna cut the bleached parts out of my hair, from when i bleached it last year. theyre gross. but if i did that, my hair would be too damn short. ugh. at least its only a little bit, on the ends in the back. but its still annoying. theyre all coarse and frizzy, and the rest of my hair is really soft. i will never, NEVER, bleach my hair again. fuck bleach.
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(18 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
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Saturday, July 26th, 2003
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PS IM REALLY SICK OF MY MOM AND HOW SHE CONSTANTLY DENIES WHO SHE IS AND HOW SHE ALWAYS SAYS MEAN STUFF. K IM GOIN TO BED NOW BYE.
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(11 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
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Thursday, July 24th, 2003
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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003
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i just realized less than an hour ago that i am terrified of growing up and i dont want to. no, im not going to start doing it with little kids and calling myself peter pan or some shit, but ... you know what i mean.
they're just trying to make life harder and harder for everyone and never give anyone any breaks.
well, im sorry, i dont want to be the top of my class or work my ass off for years, just for someone to come along later and outdo me. i just want to listen to music and dance and wear pretty clothes and goddamnit GODDAMNIT it SUCKS that i have to do more than that. the world is so technological now and its supposed to be better than before, but i really don't think it is. there was a time when school ended in 8th grade and a girl could make a living dancing WITH HER CLOTHES ON and live in a new york loft with a maid and be very happy doing it. but not anymore.
that disgusts me.
i'm also sick of society in general. i am sick of everything in the world constantly being centered on the most shallow, idiotic things. you know there is a new tv show coming out about a plastic surgeon who seduces a lady and during their relationship uses plastic surgery to make her into his "perfect woman".
i know i'm not the only person who thinks like this. the only difference is, most everyone else just goes along with it.
i've given up on all of my role models.
actually, thats not true. it's just that i don't even know the most of their names. because my culture never taught me their names. because they don't matter. THEYRE NOT IMPORTANT in this day and age. because theyre a THREAT TO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT.
everything is so fucking mediocre and everyone just DEALS WITH IT.
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(10 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
| Subject: | im such a big star that people interview me |
| Time: | 1:22 pm. |
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interviewed by vomitbox:
1. If you had to choose any era to go back in time to, which would it be, and would you live there or just visit?
I wanna say the 50's, but I don't think I'd stay long for fear of being fuckin lynched or some shit. Okay, how about the 50's IN NEW YORK CITY. Things are always a little less shitty there.
2. When was the happiest day of your life, and what made it so?The day when Dustin told me he loved me. Because I thought no one ever would, especially not someone I really felt that about.
3. Have you ever met somebody off-line, and how did that go? Not really. Kind of. When I was in 10th grade, some kid from school saw me on SparkMatch and started talking to me on AIM then at school, he came up to me and said hi. Thats the closest I've come.
4. Overall, what was your high-school experience like for you, did you enjoy it or did you hate it? I only really hated 9th and 10th and half of 11th. 12th wasn't so bad. 9th and 10th weren't so bad either but I didn't know it at the time. I guess I didn't really hate it that much, but I thought I really did.
5. What would be your weapon of choice, my dear? Beretta 8045 Mini Cougar F
What YOU can do:
1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.
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(20 jerks ♥ Okay, not cool, guys.)
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